The Intersection of Grief and Addiction

Understanding the complex, interrelated relationship between grief and addiction is crucial, not only for those personally affected but also for mental health professionals, family members, and society as a whole. As uniquely challenging experiences, grief and addiction often intertwine, each potentially exacerbating the intensity of the other and creating a feedback loop of pain and vulnerability that can be devastating for those ensnared within it.

Grief Fuelling Addiction

grief and addiction

At its core, grief is a profound emotional response to loss, typically associated with death but can extend to any significant life change or loss, such as the end of a relationship, losing a job, or experiencing severe illness. Grief can trigger a myriad of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, fear, and even relief. It often instigates a cascade of physiological responses, such as changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and an increased vulnerability to physical illnesses.

Addiction, on the other hand, is a disease characterized by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequences. People with addiction (severe substance use disorder) have an intense focus on using a certain substance(s), such as alcohol or drugs, to the point where it takes over their life.

Grief leads to addiction in several ways:

  1. Self-Medication: Bereaved individuals may turn to substances to numb their pain or momentarily escape from the reality of their loss. These substances can be anything from alcohol and recreational drugs to prescription medications.
  2. Grief-Related Stress: Chronic stress from unresolved grief can lead to increased substance use. Stress hormones can heighten the pleasurable effects of drugs and alcohol, making them more appealing during times of distress.
  3. Social Isolation: Grief often leads to social isolation, as individuals retreat from their regular activities and connections. Isolation can contribute to feelings of loneliness and depression, conditions that are known risk factors for substance use disorders.

Grief and Addiction: A Vicious Cycle

Addicts particularly suffer in the grief process for numerous reasons:

  1. Impaired Coping Mechanisms: Those suffering from addiction often struggle with impaired emotional and stress-coping mechanisms, making it harder for them to navigate the intense emotions associated with grief.
  2. Guilt and Self-Blame: Addicted individuals may struggle with feelings of guilt and self-blame related to their addiction, which can intensify the grief they experience after a loss. They might blame themselves for not being ‘present’ or ‘sober’ during their loved one’s final moments, for instance.
  3. Relapse Triggers: The stress and emotional turmoil of grief can trigger relapse in those with previous substance use disorders. A relapse can further complicate the grief process, adding feelings of failure and hopelessness.
  4. Stigma and Isolation: Grieving addicts often face societal stigma and isolation due to their addiction. This can limit their access to support and resources during the grieving process, leaving them feeling alone and misunderstood.

Interventions and Healing

Understanding the complex interplay between grief and addiction is vital for providing effective support and treatment. Grieving individuals at risk of addiction, or those with existing substance use disorders, require integrated care that addresses both issues simultaneously.

Bereavement counseling, peer support groups, cognitive-behavioral therapy, DBT, and other psychotherapeutic approaches can help individuals navigate their grief healthily. Similarly, treatments for addiction such as medically-assisted treatment (MAT), 12-step programs, and individual counseling can be invaluable for those grappling with substance use disorders.

Encouragingly, some treatment centers specialize in dual-diagnosis treatment, catering to those who are simultaneously dealing with grief and addiction. These facilities understand the unique challenges faced by this population and are equipped to offer comprehensive, compassionate care.

In conclusion, grief and addiction often interweave in a complex dance of pain and struggle. Recognizing this intricate relationship can lead to more effective interventions, greater empathy, and ultimately, healing for those affected by these twin afflictions. More research, public awareness, and integrated healthcare services are required to fully address this poignant intersection of human suffering.

Express Love & Sympathy through Funeral Flowers at Malesich & Shirey

Flowers have been a crucial part of funeral traditions across cultures, providing a poignant way to express feelings that words often fail to encapsulate. At Malesich & Shirey Funeral Home, we understand the significance of funeral flowers, offering a wide range of floral tributes to help families commemorate their loved ones. From classic casket sprays to bespoke arrangements, our experienced team is here to guide you through this important aspect of funeral planning.

The Importance of Funeral Flowers

funeral flowers

Funeral flowers are more than just a decorative element; they represent a multitude of emotions, from love and respect to grief and sympathy. They also offer a visual tribute to the deceased, bringing a sense of comfort and tranquility to the funeral service. At Malesich & Shirey, we believe in the power of funeral flowers to bring solace, aiding in the healing process as you navigate through this challenging time.

Bespoke Funeral Flower Arrangements

Every life is unique, and so should be the tribute. That’s why Malesich & Shirey offers bespoke flower arrangements that can be customized to reflect the personality and preferences of the departed. We make it a priority to take the time to understand your loved one’s story and create a floral arrangement that embody their spirit. Whether it’s incorporating their favorite flowers, colors, or creating designs that symbolize their hobbies or passions, we ensure your floral tribute is truly unique and personal.

Wide Variety of Funeral Flowers

Malesich & Shirey provides an extensive selection of funeral flowers, catering to a range of preferences and budgets. Our offerings include, but are not limited to, casket sprays, standing sprays, wreaths, and table arrangements. We also offer different flowers like roses, lilies, orchids, carnations, and more, each carrying its unique symbolism in the context of funerals. For instance, lilies represent restored innocence of the soul of the deceased, while roses symbolize love and respect.

Seasonal Funeral Flowers

At Malesich & Shirey, we also recommend considering the season while selecting funeral flowers. Seasonal flowers not only ensure the freshness and vibrancy of the arrangements but also make a beautiful homage to the time of year your loved one passed away. From vivid summer blooms to the gentle hues of winter flowers, our florists can guide you in selecting the perfect seasonal tribute.

Delivery and Set-Up of Funeral Flowers

funeral flowers

We understand that planning a funeral can be a stressful process. That’s why, at Malesich & Shirey, we handle the delivery and set-up of your funeral flowers, allowing you to focus on commemorating your loved one. Our team ensures that the floral arrangements are carefully transported and elegantly displayed, adding to the overall aesthetics and emotional ambiance of the service.

Malesich & Shirey – Your Trusted Funeral Flower Provider

Choosing Malesich & Shirey means opting for a dedicated and compassionate approach towards funeral flower arrangements. With our experience, we have mastered the art of creating meaningful and stunning floral tributes that truly honor the life of the departed.

Navigating through grief is a complex journey. Let Malesich & Shirey assist in this small but significant aspect of saying farewell. Trust us to provide funeral flowers that not only convey your deepest sentiments but also celebrate the life of your loved one in the most beautiful and respectful way.

Funeral Services Covering the Front Range of Colorado

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At Malesich and Shirey Funeral Home and Crematory, we understand that dealing with the loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences you can face. As Colorado’s leading, family-owned funeral and death services provider. We’re dedicated to helping families throughout the front range of Colorado from Longmont to Littleton, including Westminster, Golden, Denver, Lakewood, Wheat Ridge, Littleton, and surrounding areas.

Our expertise and empathy set us apart. From initial contact to the final farewell, we’re committed to delivering compassionate, respectful, and personalized service to each family we serve.

Exceptional Funeral and Death Services

When it comes to providing dignified funeral services, Malesich and Shirey stand out from the competition in Colorado. Our 14+ years of experience in managing funeral arrangements ensure that your loved one’s memory is honored in the best way possible.

We offer a full range of funeral and death services, including traditional funerals, graveside services, cremations, and celebrations of life. Our funeral directors work closely with families to design services that honor their loved ones according to their wishes and traditions.

Serving Communities across Colorado

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We’re proud to serve the residents of Longmont, Boulder, Westminster, Golden, Denver, Lakewood, Wheat Ridge, Littleton, and surrounding areas throughout the front range. We understand the uniqueness of each community and tailor our services to meet their specific needs.

Whether you’re in downtown Denver or the quieter parts of Longmont, you can count on Malesich and Shirey to provide timely, respectful, and dedicated funeral and death services right at your doorstep.

Expert Guidance in Difficult Times

At Malesich and Shirey, we believe in walking with you every step of the way. Our experienced staff is always on hand to guide you through the planning process, providing professional advice and emotional support when you need it the most.

We assist with everything, from choosing the right funeral service package to managing paperwork, offering grief support, and addressing any questions or concerns you might have.

Trust Malesich and Shirey with Your Funeral and Death Service Needs

When dealing with loss, you need a partner who understands your grief and respects your loved one’s memory. Malesich and Shirey Funeral Home and Crematory is a partner for families in Longmont, Boulder, Westminster, Golden, Denver, Lakewood, Wheat Ridge, Littleton, and surrounding Colorado areas.

We invite you to reach out to us today to learn more about how we can support you during these challenging times. With Malesich and Shirey by your side, you can find peace of mind knowing your loved one’s final farewell is in good hands.

Selecting the Right Funeral Home

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Losing a loved one is an emotionally challenging experience that every family has to go through at some point in their lives. During such a difficult time, the last thing you want is the additional stress of organizing a funeral. That’s where a funeral home comes in to assist you in planning a proper and respectful send-off for your dearly departed. In this article, we will discuss the crucial factors to consider when selecting the right funeral home to cater to your family’s unique needs and preferences.

Location

The first consideration when selecting a funeral home should be its location. Ideally, you want to choose a funeral home that is conveniently situated for family and friends to attend the services. This may mean selecting a funeral home close to your loved one’s community or one that is centrally located for ease of access. A well-located funeral home will make it easier for attendees to pay their respects and offer their condolences without having to travel long distances.

Reputation

The reputation of a funeral home is essential in ensuring you receive the best possible service during this sensitive time. Conducting an online search and reading each funeral home’s corresponding reviews can be a great place to start. A funeral home with a solid reputation will give you peace of mind, knowing that they will handle your loved one’s final arrangements with care and respect.

Services and Personalization Options

Different funeral homes offer varying levels of services and personalization options to cater to individual family preferences. When selecting a funeral home, ensure that they provide the specific services you require, such as traditional burial or cremation, and can accommodate any cultural or religious customs your family observes.

Also, look for a funeral home that offers personalization options, such as creating customized memorial videos or incorporating meaningful symbols into the service. These personal touches can make the funeral more meaningful and reflective of your loved one’s life and personality.

Pricing

The cost of funeral services can vary significantly between funeral homes. Read a detailed price list from each funeral home you are considering to compare costs and ensure you are getting a fair and transparent price. Keep in mind that the least expensive option may not always be the best choice. Instead, focus on finding a funeral home that offers the services you need at a reasonable and competitive price.

Staff and Customer Service

The staff at a funeral home play a significant role in the overall experience. During a preliminary visit, observe the staff’s professionalism, empathy, and attention to detail. You want to work with a team that is compassionate, understanding, and genuinely committed to helping you create a memorable and fitting tribute for your loved one. Make sure to ask any questions you may have and observe how the staff responds to your inquiries. Their willingness to help and provide clear explanations will indicate the level of customer service you can expect throughout the process.

Selecting the right funeral home is a crucial decision that can significantly impact your family’s experience during a challenging time. By considering factors such as location, reputation, services, pricing, facilities, and staff, you can make an informed decision that will help you honor your loved one’s memory in the best possible way.

Remember, you deserve a funeral home that treats you with the utmost care and respect.

The Importance of Funeral Pre-Planning

How to Ease Your Loved Ones’ Burden

When a loved one passes away, it can be an overwhelming and stressful time. Making funeral arrangements can add to the stress and confusion, especially if your loved one did not express their final wishes. Funeral pre-planning is an essential step to take to ease the burden on your loved ones during this difficult time.

What is funeral pre-planning?

Funeral pre-planning is the process of making arrangements for your funeral ahead of time. It involves selecting a funeral home, choosing burial or cremation, deciding on a casket or urn, and other details. By planning ahead, you can ensure that your final wishes are met and your loved ones don’t have to make difficult decisions during a time of grief.

Why is funeral pre-planning important?

Pre-planning your funeral has several benefits, including:

  1. Peace of mind: By pre-planning, you can have the peace of mind that comes with knowing your final wishes will be carried out.
  2. Financial benefits: Pre-paying for your funeral can help ease the financial burden on your loved ones.
  3. Reduced stress: By making arrangements ahead of time, your loved ones won’t have to worry about making difficult decisions during a time of grief.
  4. Personalization: Pre-planning allows you to personalize your funeral service and create a meaningful celebration of your life.

How to pre-plan a funeral

If you’re considering pre-planning your funeral, here are some steps to take:

  1. Research funeral homes in your area and choose one that you feel comfortable with.
  2. Decide on burial or cremation and choose a casket or urn.
  3. Select any additional services you want, such as a memorial service, visitation, or graveside service.
  4. Pre-pay for your funeral if you can, or create a plan for your loved ones to follow.

By taking these steps, you can ensure that your final wishes are met and your loved ones are not left with difficult decisions and financial burdens.

Conclusion

Funeral pre-planning is an essential step to take to ease the burden on your loved ones during a difficult time. By planning ahead, you can have the peace of mind that comes with knowing your final wishes will be carried out, reduce stress on your loved ones, and create a meaningful celebration of your life. If you’re considering pre-planning your funeral, take the time to research your options and choose a plan that meets your needs and budget.

At Malesich and Shirey Colorado Crematory, we are here for you during this difficult time. As you preplan, read our preplanning checklist to ensure you’re prepared and view our online catalog of grief support services, such as GriefShare, for support.

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Brian Richard Disney

May 9, 1960 – October 21, 2022

Brian Richard Disney passed away October 21, 2022 at Assured Senior

Living from brain cancer. After noticing memory loss in January of this year,

Brian was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor.

Born in Denver on May 9, 1960 to Alice and Jeremiah (Jerry), Brian was a

long-time resident of Arvada, attending Peck Elementary, Arvada Junior

High, and Arvada High School. After graduating high school in 1978, Brian

earned his B.S. in Petroleum Engineering at Colorado School of Mines. His

first job was with Philipps Petroleum in Denver. Not long after, Brian was

transferred to Aberdeen, Scotland to work in the North Sea on an offshore

oil platform. During the four years he lived in Scotland Brian was able to

travel extensively throughout Europe and also became a Licensed

Professional Engineer. After returning to Denver and between jobs, Brian

attended the University of Colorado, Boulder to earn his M.S. in Civil

Engineering (Environmental, Water, and Chemical). In his retirement, he

enjoyed spending time both here in Colorado and at his lake house in

Minnesota. Brian was also in the midst of building his dream mountain

house in Tabernash when he was diagnosed. He loved playing golf, scuba

diving, racquetball, skiing, fishing, camping, riding his motorcycle, and

traveling. Poker games with friends were also regular events at his house.

Four years ago Brian became a proud first-time dog owner when he

brought Hudson, his beloved Cavalier King Charles, home. From that

moment Brian and Hudson became nearly inseparable.

Brian fought his cancer as long as he could, going through radiation and

several rounds of chemotherapy. During that time he lived his life as best

as he could, enjoyed spending time with family and friends and celebrating

birthdays and holidays.

Brian was preceded in death by his dad, Jeremiah. He is survived by his

mother, Alice, brother, Craig, sister, Diane, nephews Kyle and Marc, Uncle

Bob Nylen, Aunt Michele Nylen, Aunts Helen and Sandy, and numerous

cousins.

The family requests donations be sent to the American Cancer Society.

Jacqueline “Jackie” Ruth Christiansen

November 18, 1932 – October 13, 2022

Jacqueline “Jackie” Ruth Christiansen was born 11/18/32 in Alexandria, MN to Rev. and Mrs. E.J. Dreyer.

She was baptized 12/4/32 by her father at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Parkers Prairie, MN.

She was confirmed on 6/23/46 at Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church in Miltona, MN.

Jackie is survived by her husband Frank, two daughters Kim Christiansen (Feith) and Keri

Christiansen of Denver, CO, and a grandson, Tanner. She is also survived by her sister,

Geraldine Gloystein, Arvada, CO. She was preceded in death by her parents and by her brother,

E. James Dreyer.

Jackie met her husband, Frank Christiansen, at Emmaus Lutheran Church in Denver, and they

were united in marriage on 12/15/57 in Omaha, NE. Jackie’s father, Rev. E.J. Dreyer, performed

the ceremony.

Jackie was active in Choir, Sunday School, and LWML in various churches where she had

membership over the years.

She was employed by Jefferson Public Schools, the Nebraska State Highway Department,

Lutheran Family Services in Omaha, Family and Children’s Service in Denver, KSWS-TV in

Roswell, NM, and by W Mitchell, a renowned motivational speaker.

Jackie devoted her life to caring for her mother who was widowed at an early age, her family,

and her grandson, Tanner.

Memorials may be made to Bethlehem Lutheran Church for scholarships supporting young

people going into the ministry: bethlehemdenver.com, 303-238-7676.

Karl George Scholz

June 30, 1951 – October 6, 2022

Karl George Scholz, of Arvada, Colorado died on Thursday, October 6, 2022. The son of

George Everett Scholz and Josephine Elizabeth Hinkle Scholz, Karl was born on June 30,

1951 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the second child and only son in a family of five children.

His gifts for words, for all things detailed and mechanical, and for music showed up early and

these passions were always a part of his life – a life that Karl lived on his own terms.

A musical prodigy, music was a part of who Karl was, and he loved music of all kinds – from

blues to classical to rock and roll. Whenever you were around Karl, you were also around music.

Growing up, music was always emanating from his bedroom – either the live playing of his

trumpet or the recorded playing of some song from his vast collection of vinyl – a collection

which he began as a child and which included over 1,000 albums when he died. He could pick

up almost any instrument and, within a couple of hours have figured out how to play it, and he

especially loved the harmonica, which he played for a variety of bands.

After graduating from Arvada West High School in 1969, Karl leapt into life with both feet,

leading a bohemian lifestyle that included many friendships, adventures, jobs, and pursuits

including working as a mechanic and as a “roadie” for many years. A “motorhead”, Karl loved

cars of all kinds and his favorite hobby was model-making. He leaves behind an impressive

array of model cars and planes – all lovingly put together with an extraordinary attention for

detail. For Karl always found pleasure in the details of life – the things that many of us overlook

– and he had an amazing memory. As a child he read the dictionary to learn unusual words –

which he loved using – and he always retained a vast knowledge of music, remembering tunes,

lyrics, songs, titles, artists . . .

Never a healthy person, in his middle age Karl developed Primary Lateral Sclerosis – a type of

ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease – which slowly stripped him of all mobility until, for the past

couple of years, he became home bound. He even had difficulty communicating – the disease

effected his speech and even his ability to use his cell phone for texting. And he could be a

difficult person – in fact some people used the term “curmudgeon” to describe his personality.

But he retained his unique capacity to find the joy in life’s small moments. He could sit for

hours and watch the squirrels outside his window eating the peanuts he kept for the home health

people to put in the feeders when they left the house after caring for him, he loved looking at his

coin collection, and he also loved his family and friends deeply – he was sensitive, kind, and

very sentimental. 

His many possessions – most of them mementos from his and his family’s past

– were arranged “just-so” so that he could always see them, and he remembered wonderful

stories about each and every one of them. And he continued his model-making. Sometimes it

would take days for him to put even one small part of some complicated car model together, but

when a model was done, he displayed it proudly. And even when he could no longer make

music, he always had it playing in some way in his house. His physical life was completely

confined and yet he still found joy in living.

Karl is survived by his four sisters and their husbands – Carol and Richard Buckalew, Judith and

Francis Castonguay, Barbara and Jim Banks, and Susan and Warren Kunish; many nieces and

nephews and great nieces and nephews; one Aunt – Zelma Levering; and many cousins. 

Karl’s life will be celebrated with a funeral on Thursday, November 3rd , at 1:00 p.m. at Christ the King

Episcopal Church, 6490 Carr Street, Arvada Colorado with a reception following. 

Donations in his memory can be made to the ALS Association:

https://secure2.convio.net/alsa/site/Donation2?df_id=34740&34740.donation=form1

Velma Durgin

May 11, 1932 – September 21, 2022

90 years old!

Velma was the 10th of 10 children, affectionately called “Bubbles”. Her happy personality, warm smile and generous spirit were a joy to all her knew her, Velma had a wonderful sense of humor, quick wit, and accepted all with love.

Velma is survived by her three sons, Harry (wife Robin), James (wife Carolyn), Steve (wife Elisabeth), Ruth Durgin, Grandchildren: Luke, Evan, David, Erik, Jill, Diana and Raych, and Great Grandchildren: Theo, Rhys.

She is missed by all.

Memorial will be held for the immediate family later this year.

Sharon Marlene Steffke

November 5, 1943 – September 19, 2022

Sharon Marlene Steffke passed away on September 19th, 2022. She is proceeded in death by her son, Chris Bergendoff. She is survived by her husband, Steve, her dogs, additional family members, and many dear friends. Sharon’s ashes will be scattered in the mountains at a private event, per Sharon’s request.

Sharon was born on November 5th, 1943 in Nampa Idaho. Sharon was the eldest of 4 children to Willard and Irene Sitts. Sharon’s family moved several times, finally settling in Northern, Illinois where Sharon married and had a son, Chris Bergendoff. Sharon fiercely loved and supported Chris in any way she could – she was even his Den Mother in Cub Scouts.

Sharon’s work career began when she was in High School in Idaho as a carhop. She worked across the street from a competitive burger joint owned by some guy named Paul Revere (later of the Raiders). Sharon was so good that they were constantly trying to steal her away.

In 1977, Sharon was a single mother working in a factory. During her midnight shift, she met a coworker, Steve Steffke, who became her best friend, husband, and soulmate for the next 45 years.

In 1978, Sharon married Steve. Sharon and Steve created their first home together in Elgin, Illinois where Sharon worked in Nursing at Sherman Hospital and Steve worked in the Hi-Fi Business. Steve’s work eventually led them to Lakewood, Colorado in 1980. In Colorado, Sharon worked as a Telephone Secretary for 10 years before she and Steve became partners of their own Landscape Business called “Backache Acres.” Sharon and Steve would grow their business for the next 25 years. Sharon often commented “How Lucky they were to know such wonderful clients that really were Good Friends.”

Sharon had many interests that kept her busy including Cooking, Mystery Novels, Classic T.V., Thrift Store Treasures, Their Beloved Dog’s, Camping and Hiking, Concerts at Red Rocks, and Season Tickets to Bronco Games. Once, Sharon and Steve got tickets to the Super Bowl (Super Bowl XXXIII in Miami). However, instead of going to the game, they traded the tickets for a hail-dinged camper trailer. Sharon nicknamed the trailer “Dimples.” The family would enjoy Dimples for the next 20 years.

Sharon was also a Community Activist. When a lake near her family home of 32 years was threatened, Sharon helped lead the effort to “Save our Lake” from developers.

In 2001, while out hiking in Golden Gate Canyon State Park, Sharon had a heart attack. After a dramatic mountain-side rescue that included a helicopter evacuation, Sharon met the cardiologist who would help her recover and resume her active lifestyle..

In 2014, Sharon and Steve’s lives were shattered by the unexpected death of their son Chris. Sharon’s ever-present optimistic spirit was broken. Sharon and Steve retired to an empty nest lifestyle with their dog’s, Kiki and Rusty. Sharon’s heart health continued to decline until multiple organ failure took her to Heaven.

Donations in Sharon’s honor can be made to Table Mountain Animal Shelter.